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Critique My Email

Occasional Participant

Critique My Email

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6 REPLIES 6
Occasional Participant

Re: Critique My Email

First, let me say that you are a great artist! my suggestion is put a 'join my mailing list' box. This way you can build your list. Good luck.

Occasional Participant

Re: Critique My Email

Ethel,

 

Thanks for the idea. Ill do that. Does it add the name automatically to the cc mailing list? I guess I can also add that to my web site.

 

Do you have an email I can look at

 

David

Occasional Participant

Re: Critique My Email

Your skills as an artist are reflected in the layout and design of your newsletter (and your Web site). Nice job!

 

A few thoughts:

 

"Commission a Painting" in the heading should be a link to something. You need some punctuation between "painting" and "starting," probably a colon or a double hyphen -- (or use a special HTML character for an m-dash).

 

Items in "In this Issue" should link to something.

 

Do you do business on the Internet? If so, not everyone receiving this newsletter will know what "SF" means. (Your actual location isn't mentioned anywhere.)

 

In "A Note from David," I'd like to see your photo. It's easier for me to relate to first-person writing when I can see the athor's picture.

 

It looks like you may have had a Forward to a Friend link under the "pricing" section in the left column. Constant Contact removes these links from archived versions of newsletter. The result for you is an odd sentence fragment.

 

I like your creative writing style. If I were to comission an artist, I'd want one with a sense of humor, like you.

 

Be careful on your punctuation. This construction:

 

...painting of my beloved pet".

 

is used often, but it is incorrect (except in some circumstances). The period goes inside the quote mark, not outside.

 

I hope this is helpful.

 

Jonathan Lehrer

Jonathan Lehrer Communications, Inc.

www.lehrercommunications.com

www.mrcommunicator.com

 

 

 

 

 

Occasional Participant

Re: Critique My Email

Thanks so much for your help. I'll make the changes you recommend. Funny about the ." issue. Ive always thought it should be the other way around. No matter what the writer is trying to convey, the end of the sentence (to my mind) should be punctuated with a period. Thats why I always want to place it after the ". I guess I need to follow the rules of punctuation and life in general. :smileyface:

 

As you can see, Im not much on punctuation anyway. Id love to see your email marketing sometime.

 

Thanks again,

David

 

 

Occasional Participant

Re: Critique My Email

Hi David,

 

I just love your email.  There are so many things that I like about it.  The header at the top with all the photos is very eye-catching and exciting.  You follow this with a section featuring many of your paintings, and I like how you kept them small and grouped them in that section -it feels like a mini art gallery.  Your section at the bottom featuring your other styles of painting combined with a link to view them is very effective.  The other thing I noticed is that your background colours of blue and black are bold and really make an impact and provide a great background for your art.  Also, I found that the alternating of them from the right to the left keeps the eye checking both sides and makes reading it more interesting.

 

I also agree with the other comments for improvement.  In the section about you, you may also want to think about including your artist statement/bio as well as a photo as suggested by others.

 

I am an artist too, and specialize in colourful seascapes that are peaceful and relaxing yet also invigorating. 

 

Angela

 

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Occasional Participant

Re: Critique My Email

Thanks so much for your thoughts. I'd love to see your email marketing sometime.

 

Take care,

David