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My first email - please critique

SOLVED
Occasional Contributor

My first email - please critique

Hi,

 

This is a first email to announce customers and friends about a new service we launch.

Would be grateful to hear your critiques.

 

 

http://bit.ly/ArLyxM

 

Thanks

 

Noam

6 REPLIES 6
Honored Contributor

Re: My first email - please critique

Hi Noam,

 

Thanks so much for sharing your newsletter with us! I think it looks great!  Are you on Social Media?  If you are, I would definitely add the Social Media icons to your newsletter.  Great use of links/images to click through right to your website!  I would also make sure you add the View as a Webpage link to the top of your email so that if anyone has viewing trouble, they can view it in their browser!

 

Keep up the great work!

Highlighted
All Star

Re: My first email - please critique

Noam,

 

It looks very apealing to me, especially for your first one! I love the familiar color choices! I did find some simple spelling and grammar issues however.

 

"Than you save and ..." should be Then you save and....as well as "Do you think a tool like this can be help for you?" Should read, "Do you think a tool like this can be helpful for you?"

 

Also as the previous poster mentioned, any social networks you use should be included.

 

Great job!

Occasional Contributor

Re: My first email - please critique

Thank you David. I appreciate your remarks.

Member

Re: My first email - please critique

I think in your heading or subhead up at the top you need to go ahead and say what your product is because the explanation is buried in the paragraph. Something like Revolutionary Graphic Design Service or DIY Graphic Design so people know up front what you are selling.  

Occasional Contributor

Re: My first email - please critique

Thank you Marietta. I appreciate your remarks.

Frequent Visitor

Re: My first email - please critique

 

For your first e-mail it was very well done the top of your e-mail is excellent..  At first I was not sure what company it was  There is no logo to help me remember your company name.

 

I personally did not like the color chosen where you wrote your text.  White background would have sent a much stronger message.  Green sends a message of mediocrity.