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Need critique of my spa email, please

Regular Visitor

Need critique of my spa email, please

Please take a look at my spa's newletter that I designed.

 

Wht do you think of it? 

Is the Subject good?

How aboutt the design and content?

 

Any feed back or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

thanks,

Amy

3 REPLIES 3
Occasional Organizer

Re: Need critique of my spa email, please

I thought the design was great. It seemed a little crowed and jammed packed with deals and discounts. I didn't know what to focus on. But otherwise it was okay. Can you tell me how you added the Facebook and Twitter icon inside your newsletter? That's fantastic.
Frequent Visitor

Re: Need critique of my spa email, please

Hi there, a couple of things: What is your name, besides Dr. K?  I would focus on what you REALLY want people tobuy and what you want to sell.  I would suggest maybe one or two offerings in each category, as less is MORE; and More is only confusing.  Also I don't know half of what you are trying to sell.  Spell out what the tickle lipo is or some of the others that I can't remember.  Also I would suggest a nature picture or a woman in nature.

Hope this was helpful.

Kym

Highlighted
Participating Solution Provider

Re: Need critique of my spa email, please

Hi,

 

I echo what the other authors write - too much going on.  Also, the email is one big coupon - write information that is relevant to your readers, such as an article on one of the services your provide and (very important) the benefit to your customers of using your services.  Lastly, note the expiration date of the coupon (it's 2011).

 

You can see some sample emails we prepare for clients to give you an idea of content.

 

David Fischer

Solutions for Growth

914-533-7226

David Fischer
Solutions for Growth
Master Certified Solution Provider