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Please Critique Me! This is my !st CC email...Thanks!

Occasional Contributor

Please Critique Me! This is my !st CC email...Thanks!

Anyone input on this would be greatly appreciated....thank you!

 

bridal show email 2.jpg

3 REPLIES 3
Participating Solution Provider

Re: Please Critique Me! This is my !st CC email...Thanks!

Hi Denise,

 

The one thing that I would recommend you include is a call to action. You mention "learn more" and also "find out how..." however there is no clear link or button for the subscriber to click on that will lead them to a page on your web site where they will get the information/promo you are offering.

 

I would either insert a text link encouraging your subscribers to click on it, in example "Click Here to learn more..." or "Go to our web site now to...". If you do not have a landing page to send them to, you can also direct them to either call or email you.

 

The last thing I would suggest is adding some sort of time frame for the free parent album which would be along the lines of "This limited time offer expires 03/01/13" so you create urgency. And since this appears to be a follow-up to a trade show type event I would insert a little coupon offer thanking them for stopping by your booth by giving them a 10% discount or whatever you feel is appropriate.

 

Good luck with your campaign!

 

Maarit

http://www.emailcreatives.com

http://www.emailcreatives101.com

Visitor

Re: Please Critique Me! This is my !st CC email...Thanks!

I think it's wordy and dull. The colors are too soothing to catch my attention. And,  I would make the pictures bigger.

Highlighted
Occasional Contributor

Re: Please Critique Me! This is my !st CC email...Thanks!

Hello Denise!

 

First, I like the layout and how you are so personalized in the beginning (remember me?). That really grabbed my attention! Second, I would make it a bit shorter - I have learned over the years that short and sweet is the best option. Also, make the calls to action a bit clearer and make them colorful - maybe a nice red pop that could tie it with a little bit of color in the header. 

 

Good luck!

 

- Susanna