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Please Read Our Email

Occasional Visitor

Please Read Our Email

I'm running a campaign where people spend "X" dollar amount they will receive "Y" amount in free goods from our company. I don't want it to be too over whelming as it's a short message but I dont' want it completely boring either. I'm stuck on the overall design and the body paragraph. Please help. This is my first user discussion post so I'm hoping that I'm copying everything right so it can be viewed:

 

http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=6imq76iab&v=001dTY-NYldfV0QEySDwmkbCZkLGrErY_hMjm...

 

 

 

 

4 REPLIES 4
Occasional Visitor

Re: Please Read Our Email

Hello, I thought it was excellent.  The only thing would change was two awkward sentences:  I believe it was the first sentence.  I would would word it like this:  "Now when you place an order with us"  The other was near the bottom:  ...fan on Facebook

Hope that helps.

Occasional Visitor

Re: Please Read Our Email

Thanks! Also looking for any title ideas. Something witty but not to salesy, catchy but not annoying

Occasional Visitor

Re: Please Read Our Email

I think you did a great job.

Member

Re: Please Read Our Email

Short, simple and to the point  - Great!