I'd like to see the paragraph broken up into important bullet points so I can read it better. I also like to see all the great things I will be doing before getting hit with the price tag. No explanation of Black Paris but maybe the mailing list knows already. Nice collage photo.
Hi Sherry - Your copy needs to be more thorough and enticing accentuated with photographs.
I agree that the price needs to be elsewhere. It's a good idea to give them a basic price and ask them to call. I also assume the price is per person?
There are too many areas of copy that may be a turn off to some people. This email should be like fishing; let the reader nibble at the bait and then reel them in when they become more interested.
I would recommend short paragraphs and bullet points. You want the reader to put themselves in the copy and photos. Then make an offer they can receive when they call.
Let me know if you have any specific questions.
I don't know if it's that important to you but I couldn't help but notice your picture collage was of Italy not France. I also prefer bullets.