Please critique my campaign

Occasional Participant

Please critique my campaign



We are having a low open/click rate. I would love to hear some advice.

Please, find attached one of our latest campaigns.

Thank you. 



Regular Participant

Hello, its been a long time since I logged on here so forgive me if I have overlooked anything. What was your subject line? Was It The 4 Meaningful ways etc.?  Perhaps another more active word could be substitued for Meaningful?


4 Sure-Fire Energy Tips For Your City


Support Your City: 4 Proven Energy Tips

You Can Do It: 4 Tips to Conserve Energy


Then You can use your Pre-Header line to expand?


Hope this helps. . . .I like the branding colors. . . .







Occasional Participant

Thank you very much for the advice!! :smileywink:

You're welcome. . . hope its helpful. . . Pam

Regular Participant

Good spacing, lots of info... but that may be the problem.


Your 'learn more' image is significantly down the email long after you've already given a ton of information.


My reaction was, "OK, they already told me a lot... I get it...", so I would have had no need or desire to click to learn more unless I was truly enthralled with wanting to be a part of it.


Everyone hates 'click bait', but there's a fine line between appearing as trying to 'click bait' and giving just enough information that people really might want to read more.


Good luck!

can Anyone tell me how can i setup this on my Site Celebrity Cricket League Team Squad so i can perform My Emailing process comprehensively.

Hello @TaniaA791


Can you tell me what you are looking to set up on your website?  Do you want a sign up form or did you want to share your campaigns onto your website?  

Thank you very much!

Very good comments...



Occasional Participant

the site is very cold and it looks like it's targeted toward government employees.  You need to tell a story with live people on how they are saving money.

Regular Participant

Hi JeissyC,


The primary purpose of an email campaign is to bring visitors to your website, and to connect with them. Your first link takes the viewer to LinkedIn, through six slides, before finally making a website hit, but your second link takes the visitor directly to the website--> that should be first your first goal. I would suggest putting the company logo as the first visual, followed by content. Additionally, try to balance your use of text and white space. 


Good luck with your open rates.


The words 'greatly' and 'benefit' should be switched around.  Donna

Regular Participant

Try a red response button. 

Try four emails, each focusing on one area.

A story how it benefitted the employee - made him/her look good or the city - save x-number of dollars, etc.

Include a photo of children at the school where you did an audit. 

Always think WIFM. "What's in it for me?"


Adwords vs Bing Ads, which one is better? I am running several campaigns, but none of them seemed to be effective.

The ads which are better are the ads which work for you.  Eliminate as many variables as possible and test the same amount of $$$ on each provider.


There are many ways to determine where your website traffic is coming from.  Are you interested in Page Views, Clicks, or sales?


Google and Bing are both your friends.  Each will help you with analytics!


Good luck.

Regular Participant

You could also put a text call to action after each of the bullter points. Multiple requests for reply can be more effective than one.