She and her better half, Ronnie, make their home in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. The Center is partnered with Academy Northwest and Family Academy. It can be shocking and annoying to learn that your child got into trouble for messing with others or being labeled a harasser. Although it may seem difficult to process this novelty, it is important to act immediately. Whether the harassment is physical or verbal, if it does not stop, it can lead to more aggressive antisocial behavior and interfere with your child's success in school and your ability to initiate and sustain friendships. How to interpret harassing behavior Children harass for many reasons. Some do it because they feel insecure. Getting into someone who seems weaker emotionally or physically makes you feel more important, popular or in charge. In other cases, children harass because they simply do not know that it is unacceptable to mess with other children who are different in size, appearance, race or religion. In some cases, harassment is part of a continuous pattern of challenging or aggressive behavior. These children may need help to learn how to handle anger, hurt, frustration or other strong emotions. They may lack the skills they need to cooperate with others. Professional counseling can often help them learn to manage their feelings, reduce harassment and improve their social skills. Some children who harass others at school and in places where they meet with peers copy the behaviors they see at home. Children who are exposed to aggressive and unpleasant interactions in the family often learn to treat others in the same way. And children who are the victims of ridicule learn that harassment can mean having control over children who seem weak. How to help children stop harassing others Tell your child that harassment is unacceptable and that, if the behavior continues, there will be serious consequences at home, school and community. Try to understand why your child behaves that way. In some cases, children harass others because they find it difficult to handle strong feelings such as anger, frustration or insecurity. In other cases, they have not learned to solve conflicts cooperatively or to understand the differences. Tactics to implement Be sure that: Take the harassment seriously. Make sure your children understand that you will not tolerate bullying at home or anywhere else. Establish rules about harassment and respect them. If you punish your child by removing privileges, know what is right. For example, if your child harasses other children by email, text message or social media, limit privileges related to the phone or computer for some time. If your child has aggressive behavior at home, with his siblings or other people, put a brake on him. Teach you more appropriate (and non-violent) ways to react, such as getting away. And teach children to be respectful and kind to others. Teach your child that it is wrong to ridicule someone for differences (eg, race, religion, appearance, special needs, sex, economic status) and try to instill a sense of empathy for those who are different. Consider participating together in a community group where your child can interact with children who are different. Be aware of your child's social life. Look for information about the factors that may be influencing your child's behavior in the school setting (or wherever the harassment occurs). Talk with the parents of your child's friends and classmates, their teachers, counselors, and the school principal. Are there other children who harass others? And the friends of your son? What kind of pressures do children have at school? Talk with your children about these relationships and the pressures they feel to fit into the group. Have them participate in activities outside the school so they can meet other children and make friends with them. Encourage good behavior. Positive reinforcement can be more effective than negative discipline. Pay attention when your children behave well and when they handle situations constructively or positively, acknowledge and congratulate them for it. Be a good example Reflect carefully on how you talk to your children and how you handle conflicts and problems. If you behave aggressively, towards your children or in front of them, it is very likely that they will follow your example. Instead, point out the positive aspects in others, instead of emphasizing the negatives. And when conflicts arise in your life, talk about your frustrations and how to manage your feelings.
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